The Four-Eyed Goat's Quest

Game description:

"From the time of old, the four-eyed goat has decreed that the gem shall be brought forth during the ramming squire's rite and destiny. Three brave young men, led by a wise man of twenty years, a wizard, have answered the call of tradition. Two are half-cousins by marriage to the wizard, a double cousin to the second brother on the mother's side, three generations removed from the king. They are driven by an irrepressible desire to forge their own path, to proclaim their masculinity as many moons before their birth, the phallus piercing each tower in turn until all are reduced to dust and rubble, uniting the kingdoms as one. Go forth and rule, and cleanse the land of wicked shadows, claiming the terrain for GOD, that you may reap the fruits, a gem of life, one after the next, unto knighthood and generations to come."

Game controls:

Player 1:
Arrow Keys move and Space Keys super